a shout out to my peeps - and evidence that i am super immature

i just spent a couple of hours of my night talking with some old and dear friends. some of my best. no matter where the conversation began, these dear women - both of them - asked me how i was doing. they didn't ask in a way that was passing or flippant. they asked and in their voices was true and honest concern and interest just as was in mine when i ask them. we really want to know how each other is fairing.

so, in this case, i told them. my answer - i am so happy and so miserable.

we feel overwhelmingly blessed being here in minnesota with my wonderful family. they cover us with love and help and support - and yet we feel unsettled. we ache with discontent. ugh. matt and i have moved enough in our life together to know that this huge of a change needs time to settle in. we need to allow our selves and family time to heal from the shock and begin to soak up the goodness. these are things that we know in our minds.

my heart though, is pretty convincing these days and it feels lonely. i miss my friends. i cannot believe how i feel - it's like i left my right hand in illinois and my left leg in michigan. in fact, in several conversations throughout the last few days, i have become aware - in an unashamed sort of way - that i miss my friends and i have no interest in making new ones. am i a baby or what?!

seriously though, it's you people who i love and care about and who i have built a life with. it's you who helped to shape my life in so many different ways. our relationships are built on a shared history and unfortunately, i am just not interested in faking it through small talk when i already have people who i consider to be my shoulder to shoulder life-mates.

here's my comfort, though - i don't know what God has in store for my life and i am certainly aware that God can and will do as He pleases. for now - i am going to thank Him every day for the friends He has given me.

you are each amazing and i love you and miss you more than i can express. thanks to you for being such amazing, Christ following, dear, kind, funny, generous, nurturing people. i love you and even though i suck at checking my voice mail - you love me back anyway. :)