i just spent a couple of hours of my night talking with some old and dear friends. some of my best. no matter where the conversation began, these dear women - both of them - asked me how i was doing. they didn't ask in a way that was passing or flippant. they asked and in their voices was true and honest concern and interest just as was in mine when i ask them. we really want to know how each other is fairing.
so, in this case, i told them. my answer - i am so happy and so miserable.
we feel overwhelmingly blessed being here in minnesota with my wonderful family. they cover us with love and help and support - and yet we feel unsettled. we ache with discontent. ugh. matt and i have moved enough in our life together to know that this huge of a change needs time to settle in. we need to allow our selves and family time to heal from the shock and begin to soak up the goodness. these are things that we know in our minds.
my heart though, is pretty convincing these days and it feels lonely. i miss my friends. i cannot believe how i feel - it's like i left my right hand in illinois and my left leg in michigan. in fact, in several conversations throughout the last few days, i have become aware - in an unashamed sort of way - that i miss my friends and i have no interest in making new ones. am i a baby or what?!
seriously though, it's you people who i love and care about and who i have built a life with. it's you who helped to shape my life in so many different ways. our relationships are built on a shared history and unfortunately, i am just not interested in faking it through small talk when i already have people who i consider to be my shoulder to shoulder life-mates.
here's my comfort, though - i don't know what God has in store for my life and i am certainly aware that God can and will do as He pleases. for now - i am going to thank Him every day for the friends He has given me.
you are each amazing and i love you and miss you more than i can express. thanks to you for being such amazing, Christ following, dear, kind, funny, generous, nurturing people. i love you and even though i suck at checking my voice mail - you love me back anyway. :)
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
christmas letter - just to archive it :)
Merry Christmas and happy new year from the Schans family! We have been blessed in abundance this year! In fact it is those people we hold dear (that’s you!) who played such a big role in all the good things that happened in 2008. Whether you were praying, lifting boxes, babysitting or just giving a call, we appreciated the love and support from our family and friends this year! Through quitting jobs, moving (twice!) and the birth of a third baby – this year has been anything but boring!
Some updates on the family seem appropriate as one reflects on the year that has past…so first up is our little princess – Sophia Kelly. Sophie has been nothing but a joy since she was put in my arms on April 25, 2006. She is the picture of God’s vision for adoption. This is not to suggest that she doesn’t have her moments – but they are like that of any other 3 year old. She is oblivious to the eyes of others when she sings at the top of her lungs in target or anywhere else she may be. She participates in dance class as if she were the only student; swinging her arms and waving at herself in the giant mirror that taunts her throughout the hour. Developmentally, Sophie is thriving. She talks much like I do – and I am 30. Her vocabulary is impressive and her love for life is inspiring. She has been a gift.
Ellen Cara will turn two in January – that’s right – TWO! I can hardly believe how fast time has flown by since she was born in 2007. I feel like Ellee is my kindred spirit. She is my counterpart in almost every way. She is fiery and loud. She is passionate about the things she wants and rarely gives up until she gets her way. Matt and I constantly laugh at her outgoing personality – her vigor is only matched by her delicate sensitivity. Truly she puts on a show, but cares so much about her sister (who she calls Haaty) and her brother (tasy) that when they’re missing something, she will always pull them into the mix. She never allows for a dull moment. She is another blessing that we have savored this year.
In March 2008, our little man was born. Casey Joseph is a quiet calm that acts to center an otherwise chaotic scene. He is a watcher – taking in every element of everyone and choosing to whom he will grant a smile. If Ellee is my counterpart, then Casey is Matt’s. At only 9 months, and growing ever more mobile, he is likely to thrive in any setting. Through Casey, we have been touched a third time by the grace of God.
Matt continues to adjust to life in Minnesota. He reminds me often that it’s cold here and probably not so much in Michigan. I assure him he will get used to it! He has loved officiating for basketball and football this fall and winter. Because he is working a late night shift at UPS, he is able to stay at home with the kids during the day. This has been an amazing relief for us with me working full-time during the day. The kids are in good hands and they love having their dad at home – and so do I! Matt has been such a Christ-follower throughout this process. He has been a gift to me and to the kids.
I have been amazed at where this year has taken us. Last December, we knew that 2008 would bring about a great deal of change for our family – but we didn’t know what path would be ours to follow. Countless times, our way was made clear and we landed in Minnesota. I am working at the University of Minnesota in the College of Liberal Arts. I work with freshmen and sophomore students and have really loved being a part of such a big university. Although being away from the kids full time has proven to be challenging – I am being provided for by the One who knows all things!
As we anticipate the days ahead, know that we are thankful for you! We are wishing you a Merry Christmas and a New Year filled with the peace of the Lord Jesus Christ!
Some updates on the family seem appropriate as one reflects on the year that has past…so first up is our little princess – Sophia Kelly. Sophie has been nothing but a joy since she was put in my arms on April 25, 2006. She is the picture of God’s vision for adoption. This is not to suggest that she doesn’t have her moments – but they are like that of any other 3 year old. She is oblivious to the eyes of others when she sings at the top of her lungs in target or anywhere else she may be. She participates in dance class as if she were the only student; swinging her arms and waving at herself in the giant mirror that taunts her throughout the hour. Developmentally, Sophie is thriving. She talks much like I do – and I am 30. Her vocabulary is impressive and her love for life is inspiring. She has been a gift.
Ellen Cara will turn two in January – that’s right – TWO! I can hardly believe how fast time has flown by since she was born in 2007. I feel like Ellee is my kindred spirit. She is my counterpart in almost every way. She is fiery and loud. She is passionate about the things she wants and rarely gives up until she gets her way. Matt and I constantly laugh at her outgoing personality – her vigor is only matched by her delicate sensitivity. Truly she puts on a show, but cares so much about her sister (who she calls Haaty) and her brother (tasy) that when they’re missing something, she will always pull them into the mix. She never allows for a dull moment. She is another blessing that we have savored this year.
In March 2008, our little man was born. Casey Joseph is a quiet calm that acts to center an otherwise chaotic scene. He is a watcher – taking in every element of everyone and choosing to whom he will grant a smile. If Ellee is my counterpart, then Casey is Matt’s. At only 9 months, and growing ever more mobile, he is likely to thrive in any setting. Through Casey, we have been touched a third time by the grace of God.
Matt continues to adjust to life in Minnesota. He reminds me often that it’s cold here and probably not so much in Michigan. I assure him he will get used to it! He has loved officiating for basketball and football this fall and winter. Because he is working a late night shift at UPS, he is able to stay at home with the kids during the day. This has been an amazing relief for us with me working full-time during the day. The kids are in good hands and they love having their dad at home – and so do I! Matt has been such a Christ-follower throughout this process. He has been a gift to me and to the kids.
I have been amazed at where this year has taken us. Last December, we knew that 2008 would bring about a great deal of change for our family – but we didn’t know what path would be ours to follow. Countless times, our way was made clear and we landed in Minnesota. I am working at the University of Minnesota in the College of Liberal Arts. I work with freshmen and sophomore students and have really loved being a part of such a big university. Although being away from the kids full time has proven to be challenging – I am being provided for by the One who knows all things!
As we anticipate the days ahead, know that we are thankful for you! We are wishing you a Merry Christmas and a New Year filled with the peace of the Lord Jesus Christ!
ohhhh....i'm hit
Last night, Sophie had a rough stretch. Can’t believe it? I know, I know – I hear it all the time. ‘She’s just to sweet/beautiful/cute/smart/fill-in-the-blank to be naughty!’ I think it’s an adoption thing – maybe people feel something for her in that sense….I don’t know. What I do know is that it happens ALL the time!! I try and explain that although she is great, she is still 3! Although I adore my little girl more than any other 3 year old child ever, I am privy to her tired times, her bored moments and her curious spells. This trifecta often can lead to a scenario like last night…here is how it played out….enjoy...
Picture Sophie and Ellee nicely playing in the kitchen – letters on the fridge – you know the drill. I survey the room for knives, hot coffee and rabies-ridden wild animals before walking around the corner to call my mom – seriously, there is not even a wall between these rooms we’re talking about. So I’m talking to my mom when Ellee comes in, crying and she snuggles up to me and says ‘ouch, Sophie kicked me.’
I hung up with Tammer (mom) and called Sophie in the room and she trotted in as if she were a dancer entering stage left. I asked her if she kicked Ellee – no. Did you kick Ellee? Again, no. Sophie, did you kick Ellee? Again, no…but this time a pause before the immediate answer. As if I were a detective, I sense the weakness. I hone in on some brown residue on the side of her lip. Sophie, what did you eat? (she always eating stuff!) Nothing. Again, Sophie what did you eat. Nothing. Come here – let me smell your breath. She blew right at my face and instantly I smell the sweet fragrance of a crutch I hold so dear – chocolate. I remembered that I had put three pieces of dove chocolate in a drawer in the kitchen.
When I got up to look, I worked out the scenario in my mind….Sophie found the chocolate in the drawer and ate it once I left the room. In a futile attempt to get ‘in on dat’ Ellee was kicked by Sophie in what I can only imagine as a brutal turf war. Ellee cried, and then tattled. Sophie then lied to me on two counts 1) kicking little sister 2) eating stolen chocolate. When I confronted her she reacted in way that only a tired and all together spent three year old can do. She first screamed, second punched me in the stomach (a kid-style wild hit – nothing intentionally violent – no worries!) and third collapsed to the ground screaming.
Sophie went to bed early last night.
Last night was like any other. Someone usually gets upset, someone always cries but in the end, we always tell each child how much we love them – we tell them like we mean it – not just as a quick aside, but as a conversation about how blessed we are by them. Sophie is, of course, no exception. She has a sweet spirit and a quick wit and I adore her – even though she has a mean left hook.
Picture Sophie and Ellee nicely playing in the kitchen – letters on the fridge – you know the drill. I survey the room for knives, hot coffee and rabies-ridden wild animals before walking around the corner to call my mom – seriously, there is not even a wall between these rooms we’re talking about. So I’m talking to my mom when Ellee comes in, crying and she snuggles up to me and says ‘ouch, Sophie kicked me.’
I hung up with Tammer (mom) and called Sophie in the room and she trotted in as if she were a dancer entering stage left. I asked her if she kicked Ellee – no. Did you kick Ellee? Again, no. Sophie, did you kick Ellee? Again, no…but this time a pause before the immediate answer. As if I were a detective, I sense the weakness. I hone in on some brown residue on the side of her lip. Sophie, what did you eat? (she always eating stuff!) Nothing. Again, Sophie what did you eat. Nothing. Come here – let me smell your breath. She blew right at my face and instantly I smell the sweet fragrance of a crutch I hold so dear – chocolate. I remembered that I had put three pieces of dove chocolate in a drawer in the kitchen.
When I got up to look, I worked out the scenario in my mind….Sophie found the chocolate in the drawer and ate it once I left the room. In a futile attempt to get ‘in on dat’ Ellee was kicked by Sophie in what I can only imagine as a brutal turf war. Ellee cried, and then tattled. Sophie then lied to me on two counts 1) kicking little sister 2) eating stolen chocolate. When I confronted her she reacted in way that only a tired and all together spent three year old can do. She first screamed, second punched me in the stomach (a kid-style wild hit – nothing intentionally violent – no worries!) and third collapsed to the ground screaming.
Sophie went to bed early last night.
Last night was like any other. Someone usually gets upset, someone always cries but in the end, we always tell each child how much we love them – we tell them like we mean it – not just as a quick aside, but as a conversation about how blessed we are by them. Sophie is, of course, no exception. She has a sweet spirit and a quick wit and I adore her – even though she has a mean left hook.
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