hand, foot, mouth, and drama

hand, foot and mouth is a crazy nightmare. seriously, it's like some lunatic developed some nasty virus to torment children and parents alike. my poor babies are almost through it and if i never see or hear of it again, it'll be too soon.

 

a lot of people have asked what hand, foot, and mouth disease looks like, so i took some pictures of its last victim, sophie. below are her hands today. there are about a gazillion little itchy blisters on each hand. she has an equal amount in her mouth and on her feet too. i took her to the doctor yesterday because i noticed that her lil' finger tips were turning purple. turns out some of her blisters were getting infected so they put her on antibiotics and pushed the fluids. 

believe it or not, she's on the road to recovery. i hope.

first my kids got a horrible fever. then they got a terrible rash followed by these painful blisters on their hands, their feet and in their mouth. all are equally bad locations and make everyday life pretty miserable. it lasts about a week, or what feels like a year. 

the blisters go from hot and burning to itchy itchy itchy. from here, they'll start to scab over and heal. as awful as itchy is, it's one step closer to being over! 

whadda week. in pictures.

this week has been something else. but in between hand, foot and mouth disease, non stop rain, and matt working an insane number of hours, we had some fun mixed in too. and i even took pictures to remind myself of that very fact. you know, when the going gets tough, the mom takes pictures. 

here she is on her last day of preschool!

this is one of ellee's best friends, ava.

ellee's other best friend, ada.

this is ellee's hook and basket. it was a very big deal.

ellee's school has a little fish pond out front. every drop off and pick up, we had to say hello to the terrified gold fish. i gotta be honest, i won't miss this.

this is our garden. it started as my garden but really, it's now matt's garden. so, yeah. tons of rain this week and even some hail. our lil' garden has hung in there quite nicely. matt declared today that 6 weeks from now and we'll have tomatoes. mark your calendars, people.

our little memorial day celebration. hot dogs and potato salad on the back deck. oh, and also three of these people have hand, foot and mouth disease. that's why it's just us. can you even imagine that no one was interested in coming over and hanging out with us?!

no one can eat a steak to the bone like matty. personally, i find it to be rather disgusting. but i do appreciate that he enjoys the food i make. so, there's that. 

here's our healthy little sophie. she was our only survivor. no HFM for her.

everyday, i thank god for our backyard. here, the kids are searching for nightcrawlers. it was no big deal that this was literally right in the middle of dinner and the kids all ran to the yard and were gone for 10 minutes. matt and i didn't care because we got to eat in peace. manners be damned. 

the end of this week and i swear i feel like that bone. chewed on, cut up and almost ready for the dog. but hey, summer is knocking on my door and if there's one thing that i appreciate about the oppressive minnesota heat is that try though they may, illness cannot survive the scorching temperatures and aggressive mosquitoes here in the twin cities. so hey summer, bring it on.

on loving my boy, no matter what.

recently, i realized something about the impression i sometimes give about my little 4 year old mini-me.

when i talk about casey, i often lead with an apology. after all, he's rough and tumble. he's extraordinarily loud. he's uncontrollably emotional. and he thinks primarily with his stomach and his heart.

often this translates into numerous daytime breakdowns, uncontrollable crying, and time out after wretched timeout. there can be no denying that some days with casey are nothing short of brutal.

but the thing is, casey is also a boy who loves life. he's thoughtful. he remembers each and every kind word that's said. he thrives upon a compliment and he takes the kindness of others to heart. he believes you when you tell him that the drawing he made for you is the best you've ever seen and you should see how it makes his face shine. casey is passionate about the things that interest him and that boy loves me even more than i love myself.

true, he is my most challenging kid, but he's also delightful. and i adore him. i want to scoop him up and keep him with me forever because with me, he's safe and happy. but the day is coming soon when i won't be able to do that. he's headed to real-5-afternoon-a-week-ride-the-bus preschool next year and the thought sends me into emotional turmoil.

he'll be in a regular school where there are regular kids. kids who take his toys and make him angry. he'll have to listen to the teacher and participate just like everyone else and this is a very different picture from the one that's been painted for him thus far. and it makes me worry. the hardest part for me is that it makes him worry too.

he won't start school until late in september, but already we talk about it almost daily. i know he's going to make so many strides in his new school. i also know he'll make friends, he'll love his teacher, and the new surroundings will be nothing but good for him. but these are tricky concepts to teach a 4 year old boy who loves his routine, his life, and his mom. nervousness is a part of who he is and so my role will continue to be that of mom-rock. because he's gonna love it. he's going to be great because he is great. and i can't forget to remind him of that everyday so that when the time comes for him to board that bus, while he won't be able to see my face, he'll know that i'm right there with him. in his heart. telling him how awesome he is and that he can do it.

maybe equally important, i'm done with the apologies. my job is to be casey's biggest fan, not someone who explains his shortcomings. it strikes me that if someone's introduction of me consistently included an apology for all the things i'm not, it would be miserable. and unfair. and so i'll stop. and instead i'll fill your ears with all the wonderful things about my boy. because after all, he is wonderful.

at the end of the day, casey is who he is and no matter how many of my parental interventions i thrown at him during the day, he's still not going to be perfect. but the thing is, he's great anyway. and his imperfections feel eerily familiar, anyhow. he loves large and acts without thinking. he wants what he wants and when he doesn't get it, he crashes hard. he's so much of me, and if he loves me the way i am, then the least i can do is return the favor.

poerty i can get behind.

as a part of sophie's 1st grade writing workshops, they have each student write some poetry over the course of a couple of weeks. when she brought home her finished products yesterday, i was both amused (a blue jay really did fly into our house. it was terrifying for me but thrilling for the kids) and horrified (ummm...i pay?!). i assume you will be too. enjoy.

(i've corrected the spelling.)
i love my sister. 
i love my sister here and there, even if she eats a pear. because i don't like pears.

i pay.
i pay, she pays, we all pay. i pay bottles. oh no! i ran out of money. i need money to buy me food. i need food to live. i could die. i do not want to die. i need money to live. i need it. i need it. i love money!

a blue jay.
a blue jay flew in my house, it flew in my house without a doubt. a blue jay flew in my house.

i jump.
i jump, i jump. she jumps, we both jump. i love to jump! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! it is fun to jump.

i'm so proud of my sophie. she's so smart and sweet and hilarious. i mean, it goes without saying that i need to have a conversation about the importance (or unimportance?) of money, but hey, she loves her sister and lets her have all the pears, and really, that's the meat of it, isn't it?

so keep jumping all. turns out, it's fun.

if nothing else, just avert your eyes

it's surprises me the things that pop into my mind as my world seems to be imploding. in this case, it was a facebook post. 

a friend of mine recently posted something about how a complete stranger had complimented her parenting skills while they were out and about in seattle. it made me wonder two things. first, when was the last time anyone, aside from my blood relatives (who are obligated, after all), have complimented me on my parenting or the behavior of my kids? and second, when was the last time i offered an encouraging word to another mom who i saw doing a good job with her crew?

today i had a day where i could have used a choir of strangers and relatives alike assembled behind me singing my praises because today was hard. it started with a couple of morning breakdowns both at home and at the grocery store. (nora literally dove on to the floor the same way an olympic swimmer would attack a pool, laid on the dirty linoleum, kicked her feet, screamed at the top of her lungs, and leaked fluids out of every facial orifice.) this, all because i forgot to buy cream for my coffee yesterday while at the grocery store and so this morning i was forced to put on my bra early and head out with my possee...to the grocery store...where they sell donuts we were not going to buy. so this tantrum went down without me even having my coffee yet. almost unbearable.

the middle of the day included the news that matt's boss, who is a big supporter of him, has been promoted and is leaving his center. this has happened before and often leads to new challenges at work. lots of proving, again, what a good employee he is. new policies, again, that require long hours. new expectations, again, that often lead to the same ol' thing that they've already been doing. it's hard for him (and even more hard for me, which is super dumb, i realize) to go through another transition; especially one where it feels like he's losing an advocate. again. 

finally, the tipping point came this afternoon. i had to run to target. to me target is a beautiful hell. i love it. i want to go there and study each lamp they sell, each towel they have displayed, and each shoe that call my name. the truth is i want to go there alone. today, however, i was not alone. instead, i brought the entire gang. after returning some items, i decided that it might be fun to check out some of the summer toys (why would i think that?! no. clue.). it was going so well. until it stopped going well, and started going terribly. in any case, the whole outing ended with me yelling at the kids, in the store, in a serious way. the horrible part is that i know i would have been chilled out about their volume, their running and even their touching of every possible item. it's the mom glares that got to me. the looks from other women that made me self-conscious. it's a sad thing when other moms, people with kids in their carts don't have your back and aren't afraid to show it. shame on me for caving and shame on them for judging.

in any case, the looks i got were the opposite of supportive. i'm not totally blaming other moms here, i know i'm guilty at times too. the challenge i'm putting forth to me (and to you, i guess) is this: when you see a mom, doing a good job, tell her so! and when you see a mom who is obviously struggling, smile at her and help if you can. if nothing else, pray. pray that she find the strength to get through that moment. that she can find time to take a breath. and, most of all, that she does not run into any other patrons who dare roll their eyes as her children run screaming through the produce department.

what did you do this week?

sometimes i want to punch my life in the face.

well, not my life as much as the frustrating things that complicate my life. 

with four children, there always seem to be complications. this week, for example, ellee started tee-ball and while i am thrilled for her because she loves it, i'm gonna go ahead and be real real honest with you. sitting outside at a random park for 3 hours a week watching 5 year olds throw dirt, pick grass, and run for the outhouse is not my idea of a good time. the moments when ellee is actually hitting the ball or grabbing it out of the dirt are great, but the other 97% of the time is pretty rough. tonight, i decided that if ellee could go the whole season without getting hit by some random child swinging a wildly out of control bat, that i would be happy with our experience regardless of my mosquito bite count. obviously, i'm very hopeful.

so on top of finding myself sitting at a ball field (although it's really just a field with grass and mosquitos) two nights a week, i have recently been dealing with some super fun health issues of my very own. no bat to the head or anything, but for the last year or so, i have been having more and more pain in my ol' joints and finally decided i had better get my rear into a rheumatologist before they have to wheel me in. long story short, i have been diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis and that being the case, i find myself taking some very shit-just-got-real medications in an effort to get me up and running again (obviously i am using the term 'running' very loosely here.) ugh. and double ugh for arthritis at 34 years old. trying to keep perspective though, i do consider myself super fortunate to have great doctors and powerful medicines that are all working to make me better. i'll be fine, no worries, blah blah blah.

anywho, back to the busy week at hand.

picture me all tired and rickety (you know, i DO have arthritis) and exhausted after watching an hour and a half of near catastrophes on the tee-ball field, when sophie runs up to me minutes before bedtime to alert me that she has lost her gazillionth tooth. she was pumped and so i took an immediate mental note not to forget to fulfill my tooth fairy duties.

obviously, i quickly forgot my mental note.

when she appeared before me at 6am the next morning, the first words out of her mouth were 'mom, the tooth fairy didn't come!' you can only imagine what the first words out of my mouth were. (you don't know me.) long story short (again), i ended up telling her that there was no tooth fairy that i had forgotten to put the money under her pillow. gasp. i know. IT WAS EARLY. i couldn't think and it was over before i knew it. in my defense, sophie has been asking about the non-legit nature of said tooth fairy for months, and her response was 'yeah, i kind of thought so.'

in the moments following my heart to heart with sophie where i basically had to confess to lying to her about a teeth-stealing fairy, i knew that she would be ok when she asked if she would still get money when she lost her teeth. what i didn't know, however, is if she could keep a secret. after all, at 7, sophie has 3 little siblings who have never lost a single tooth between them. rest assured, my stress lasted all of 6 seconds before she had run down stairs ahead of me and instantly spilled the beans to ellee. NOOOO!!

now ellee's crying hard. sophie's all 'wha?, who?, me?' and casey is playing trucks in the corner. and i hadn't even peed yet.

what followed included punishments, endless discussion about what it is to make a good decision (which don't seem to ever end), shame (on my part), regret (all me), sadness, constant reminders about what a secret is, and a lot more regret and sadness about moments with ellee that will just never happen.

i understand that in a big picture kind of way, this is no big deal, but it's a reminder that my kids are growing up and even i can't make it slow down. sometimes things just happen. kids grow up more than you wanted in a single moment. and all you can do is move forward.

so now it's thursday and i've tackled, knocked down, and punched in the face the following issues: tee-ball, arthritis, and the tooth fairy. next on my list is summer boredom. you moms know what i'm talking about. about 6 days into summer break my kids start talking smack about being bored. this year, i'm heading it off on the curb. i spent the better part of an entire day researching affordable summer activities for my posse and i gotta say, i'm pretty excited to get the party started. they'll be busy with VBS (X3! what what!), smart-kid camp for sophie, soccer for the big girls, tee-ball for ellee, a michigan trip, summer festivals, and the state fair. looks like we'll keep moving, but in true shannon fashion, i left plenty of empty weeks for lounging too. take THAT summer boredom. punch to the face.

so that's it. a week filled with predictable moments, challenges, and some heart break thrown in for fun. we have a lot on our plates here and i don't pretend that every day is perfect. with me as the mom, that's an impossibility. but it's good, and we're blessed, and my kids went to bed happy tonight. and life moves on to another week. for me to punch in the face.

this is why we love tee-ball. because SHE loves tee-ball. how adorable is that face?!