pictures and words on summering in minnesota.

here are two of my girlies. being girlie.

same deal, plus one boy desperate to be in the picture.

ellee wanted to take a picture. and she didn't do too bad! here's me with my two babies who aren't really babies at all.

this i found tonight when i went to check on the kiddos after i had put them to bed. charming.

and this is how i found casey. a day at the beach in 105 degree heat can really take it outta you.

not if your name is nora. honey badger don't care about no heat.

see? honey badger loves heat.

and sunglasses. she loooooves sunglasses.

casey showcasing his love of all things tigers. just like dad.

this summer we're keeping busy. i have actually been kind of stressed out about doing just that. having four little faces wondering what we're doing everyday has been challenging. i have begun having lots and lots of helpful conversations with superdad and super friends to try and gain some perspective on it all. i've decided that it's not actually my job to keep them busy. quite the opposite. we've been working on finding things to do on our own...a new and freeing idea to this weary mom. truth be told, i remember my mom shoving us all outside and telling us not to come back until lunch. why is it that my children seem to thing lunch is every five minutes? the work on this continues, but things are improving.

for sophie, keeping busy means a new judy moody book. she's loving it and so am i. she's the hardest to keep away from the tv, but she's also the one who can busy herself the longest once she's invested in an activity. she's been crafting, making forts, and missing her friends. she's been having fun and growing up everyday. second grade gets closer as the weeks fly by, and although she'll be more than ready for it, i often wonder how my heart will take these giant hits it keeps enduring as my kids inch their way through school. growing up is hard, but watching your kids grow away is harder.

ellee is smiling and laughing and enjoying more freedom than she has ever had. she's already been to one vbs, had a playdate and will just finish up her teeball season tomorrow night. she's busy and fun and getting more and more ready for her kindergarten debut. one more hit to this ol' heart.

casey has been a champ this summer too. with one vbs and two playdates under his belt, he's getting more and more comfortable doing things away from me. it's good, it really is good. he loves me almost to a fault and to see him love life without me by his side gives me a measure of comfort because the fall will bring a new school for him too. five afternoons a week away from me needs to be doable, and this summer, we're working to make that happen. of all my children, i pick him to make the 'nursing home' call, though. i'm pretty sure he'll make his wife let me live with them until my last day, so as far as i can tell, i should be set.

nora is two now and we're enjoying a summer without a baby in our midst. it's been a long time since we were able to actually get out and do things without having to think about when the baby will eat, sleep, or need to be changed. she still naps, but when the day takes us somewhere off course, she goes with the flow and shows me she's growing up too.

i'm a lucky mom. my plate is full and our family feels, for once, so complete. with nora getting older, we find ourselves looking to the future. not held up on babies, having more babies, wondering when our babies would be born, or worrying that we would have no babies at all. our family is all here and we're living life together, fully, everyday.

matt's work schedule is set to change on november 1st. he'll be working as a dispatcher, monday-friday from 9am-7pm. so this summer, we'll cherish the afternoons we have with dad. he's everything i ever dreamed i would have and the idea that a great deal of parenting will be done without him is scary and sad. but knowing that he's being readied for more opportunities is comforting. knowing who is in charge of all things, from parenting to promotions, offers much more comfort, however.

with all these changes, i'm feeling more and more settled in my role as stay-at-home-mom. not looking for something different, but focusing on being good at this most important work. i'm learning to trust that money comes when we need it, and help does too. i'm working to remember that work will be there when it's time, and for now, not to measure my worth in how i look, who i know, or what my skills are. for this former career woman, it's been a journey. and the journey continues. 

all of these things are challenging, but a good friend recently reminded me to 'not waste my years' and it struck me as almost urgent to do the opposite. tonight, i'm thankful for a summer filled with loving on my kids, dinners with my husband, and life lived to its capacity. i hope the same is true for all of you. if not, then what are you waiting for? because i'm pretty sure these are the good old days. now, get out there and don't forget the sunscreen.