it's been too long!
summertime business is filling up my nights while heat and humidity are filling up my days...soooo....just to catch everyone up on us, here's my late-night take on summer so far...
1. matt got a new job (hallelujer)! he's working at fedex...turns out that he's not down with brown. brown never was my favorite color...i much prefer the lovely hue of purple that he sports now! we are so thankful for such a gift! (here's me beating a dead horse) y'all know that it was a hard go for a stretch...and we feel overwhelmingly blessed to feel like we can move forward.
2. the summer is hot...it's only july 19 and i already long for the crisp air of october...but in the mean time, i am going to try and enjoy every second i get to squeeze the cute faces of the little people i love so much.
sophie will be starting kindergarten this fall and ellee will be heading to preschool two mornings a week...these are big days ahead and i want to relish the days when the hours stretch out in front of us and we can do as we please....sweaty though they may be, i'm doing my best to enjoy. me and my ladies secret powder fresh...we'll get through this together.
3. carrie came to visit! our dear auntie carrie came to spend a few days with the schans crew and boy was it fun. having people who are so dear to us come to spend time in minnesota is so bitter sweet. i imagine it always will be. while incredibly fun (cosmic bowling and juicy lucy burgers), it's such a reminder of what we are missing in our 'new life.' we still struggle with feeling at home here...still missing our friends who remain hundreds of miles from us. family is a blessing, but we have yet to find an answer to what's missing. we try and just chill...just try and get every lesson out of each day...even when it's hard and lonely...and when it's fun and fulfilling.
4. have you seen the adorable pictures of my awesome children? ummm, yeah. this summer has been filled with mielstones for them too.
sophie is 5 and an artist in the making. she really has a talent...creating things beyond what i thought she could at this point. her level of awareness and intellect is scary...i am reminded about 10 times a day that we should never say stupid, that only moms and dads can say 'frickin' (a habit i'm working to break!) and that instead of noggin, sophie prefers the more grown up cartoons. ahhh....she's getting older. and wiser. more and more frequently, she asks questions about her birth mom. wondering aloud if kim 'just left her' at the hospital? wondering if nora's hair will stay black like hers. repeating that ellee has mom's eyes, but sophie has mom's personality. just so much ahead surrounding this topic...it's scary.
ellee is my girl. i adore her because i relate to her...emotional, irrational, funny, loud. she has grown like a weed, has developed a sense of humor and an athletic streak. i'm so proud of her sweet spirit and her emotional breakdowns.
casey is talking more and more everyday...i'm grateful for that. he's the one i'm going to worry the most about...and i don't know why. he's a sweet boy who loves his momma most of all. his speech delay is a struggle for me more than him, but there is no doubt that the boy knows what he loves. casey is smart and affectionate...and obsessed with cars. loves loves loves them. and i love love love him.
nora is already 4 months old. she is a giant among the world of normal babies, but is quite average for a schans. all our babies are huge...love it. she is smiley and laughs all the times. she's great in her bumbo, the johnny jump up, and on her little ol' floor mat. finally she is sleeping more consistently through the night....and momma like!
5. i'm making the adjustment into the world of work and motherhood more slowly than i would like...but it's happening. priorities get all mushed up when babies are involved. i have never struggled with anything like i struggle with the work/life balance. i am passionate about the IDEA of work...but not so much the going there, working while being away from my babies part of it. i'm working on it...working and thinking. and praying. within the mush of priorities, i lost a bit of myself...my ability to not care what people think...all of the sudden, i doubt myself and my abilities. i'm working on it...slowly it is coming together. and once again, i know i'm not alone. it's really hard to balance being a mom and a being a person....just a girl who is enough of everything without having to qualify anything by saying 'yes, but i have four children'. someday it will be so clear, but tonight, my eyes are sleepy and i can't make it all out.
there's so much more 'regular stuff' that fills our days...but that's the jist...we're surviving, and sweating, and smiling, and loving. i hope you are too.
happy summer!
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