is there anything better?

is there anything better than building memories with your family? matt and i are keenly aware that this time we have with our many small ones is fleeting - that each time a season comes and goes, it deserves a celebration! as we welcome in the christmas season, i hope that each moment can be as special as putting up our tree was this year!

as is our chirstmas tree tradition, we were able to get the tree up and decorated this weekend with only minimal bickering (from the kids and from us!) and with no major crisis to speak of!
it was amazing to see how excited ellee and sophie were as we took out the ornaments, strung the lights and put on the finishing touches. they loved it! they each have a couple of ornaments that are 'theirs' and getting to hang those themselves was really thrilling for them - and so special for us! casey on the other hand...well, he really loved it when we finally gave in and put baby einstein on for him to enjoy!

we are as excited for the christmas season as we could be...looking forward to good times around our family tree!

ugh...such an out of order post...but Happy Halloween!

thankful for such good food and even better company. can you picture it?

thanksgiving has been my absolute favorite holiday since i can remember. my mom fills her house with 20+ people each year and provides enough food to feed at least 100. the faces and the smells are familiar - the day is filled with unspoken tradition that even the most removed of us can't bare to break. each year that i get to be there, i am thankful.

this year, i was to bring three items. 1) orange jello salad 2) cranberry salad and 3) my standard sweet potatoes.

my dear mom-in-law, shirley, supplied me with two delicous jello salad recipes while i tried to mentally prepare myself to successfully produce my sweet potatoes again - this year, without incident. you may remember that last year, i dropped my entire batch down the basement stairs the morning of thanksgiving. nice.

luckily for me, the girls were so 'helpful' this year. they stirred and measured and tasted like pros. i sweated and cooked and carefully plotted my course until i finally it was time to load all of my bounty into the van, along with the family of course, and head out to my moms.

i drove with the precision of a nascar driver...careful not to take corners too fast for fear that the delicious butter/brown sugar mixture would spill out of my perfect sweet potatoes.

once we arrived, with all the excitement of children arriving at disney land, ellee un-clicked her seat belt and hopped out of her booster chair. she landed with a thump on the floor of the van. on any other day, this would be totally acceptable. but on this day - on thanksgiving day - i had specifically warned against such action. why? because, in an effort to secure the pans in a safe and sturdy location, i had strategically placed two giant pans of perfectly prepared sweet potatoes directly under ellee's seat. an error i now recognize en mass.

yes, ellee did smash about 1/4 of my potatoes with her giant great-dane-like feet as she hopped out of her seat. yes, brown sugar and butter spilled out all over the van. and yes, we entered my moms house looking more of a flurry of wild animals than of a family. it was a rough start - but it was salvaged and in the end, all was well and the remaining sweet potatoes were as tastey as i could have imagined.

below are some random shots of the meal and the people who make this day special to me. i hope that your thanksgiving was as filling and fulfilling as mine!

gobble gobble!

we ripped up our nasty carpet (starting at 9:06 PM!)...here's what we found!

adoption is hard. but it's worth it.

because november is national adoption awareness month (yay, adoption!!), i wanted to provide a couple documents that help to outline not only our emotional investment in our process (completed in April of 2006), but also what our logistical hurdles included!

one of these documents is an older post (from sometime in 2008) and one is a post i just added...both are links on the right under 'sophie's story.'

adoption has become part of our family's fabric and for those of you looking for information about the adoption 'how-to's' or who are just walking down memory lane with me, enjoy your peek into what the process included for us!

remember though...adoption is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're going to get! seriously, what was true for us, may be very different from what others have experienced!

in any case...share your stories in the comments sections...i am thrilled to celebrate adoption not only in november - but every day of every month!

let's get the word out together - there are over 140 MILLION children worldwide who need homes...can you help?

our adoption logistical hurdles...it was a learning process!

1. We began working with Family Adoption Consultants in Kalamazoo Michigan to adopt from Korea. They assigned us to work with Kids Hope United in Illinois in order to complete the homestudy in 7/05
2. Our approved homestudy was complete on 10/03/05
3. We received our referral from Family Adoption Consultants on 10/12/05
4. We officially accepted our referral by completing and sending all the appropriate paperwork to Family Adoption Consultants on 10/30.
5. We completed our adoption conversion course for DCFS on 10/29/05 at which point our social worker, Devin Dittrich at Kids Hope United in Joliet, assured us that all of our paperwork for foster care licensing was complete on approximately 10/29/05.
6. We completed our I600 for USCIS including payment, our daughter’s legal documents from Korea, and approved homestudy information on approximately 11/1/05
7. We completed our fingerprinting for USCIS on 11/15/05.
8. On 11/29, I spoke with Mary Donnelly at DCFS. Mary works in Springfield coordinating international adoptions for DCFS. Mary told us that she would be sending a confirmation letter to USCIS by 12/02/05 confirming our foster care license.
9. On 11/29, I spoke with Diane at USCIS to relay the message from Mary Donnelly. Diane let me know that once the letter was received, she would be able to grant us visa approval. She would then wire the information to Korea who would then begin working on passport approval.
10. On 12/2, I received a call from our social worker, Devin Dittrich, telling me that we had to do some additional paperwork for DCFS. She said that she was unaware that we would need to complete this paperwork before that point, but that it was necessary to complete before DCFS could process our foster care license. Devin assured me that the delay would not be a big one. However, this is the first time that I was told that we would once again need to be fingerprinted, this time by a company called Arts Investigations.
11. We completed the new DCFS paperwork and were fingerprinted by Arts Investigations on 12/6/05 at the Laidlaw bus company in Villa Park, IL. The paperwork was over-nighted to DCFS by our social worker the following day.
12. Since 12/6/05, I have been in communication with Mary Donnelly at DCFS and with Karen Powell at Kids Hope United (Karen works as Devin’s supervisor). On 1/10/06, I spoke with Mary Donnelly who informed me that the reason our foster care license had yet to be issued is because DCFS is waiting on FBI clearance. She told me that they only need FBI clearance when a couple has lived outside the state of Illinois within the past three years – which Matt and I have. Mary then told me that the time period of when we should hear back from the FBI is unknown and that there is no one to call to track where we are in the process.
13. Since 1/10/06, I have been in communication with Karen Powell at Kids Hope United who also is unaware of whom I can speak with in order to expedite this process.
14. On 2/2/06, I received a message from Sue at State Representative McCarthy’s office. She informed me that she forwarded on my information to Senator Obama’s office who would be contacting me with a release form that we would have to fill out. With it, they would try and track the FBI fingerprint clearances.
15. On 2/3/06, I spoke with Camille at Dick Durbin’s office who was very helpful, but unfortunately, could not assist in tracking the federal FBI fingerprint clearance. She did insist that if she could help in any other way, I let her know.
16. On 2/3/06, I spoke with Mary Donnelly at IL DCFS who informed me that she had contacted Devin Dittrich at Kids Hope United to encourage her to follow up with DCFS licensing office. She also informed me that in addition to the FBI clearances, we were also missing the following documents:
1. CANTS clearance for me, Shannon Schans (Matt’s had come in)
2. IL state police clearances for both Shannon and Matt Schans
At this time, Mary also confirmed with me that there could be delays in retrieving these clearances because the licensing office of DCFS had recently relocated from Springfield to Chicago and it was a chaotic move.
17. On 2/6/06, I left a message with Karen Powell asking her to verify the information Mary gave me on Friday.
18. With the help of Kevin McCarthy’s office, we were able to determine that our fingerprint request had not been properly submitted. They were able to expedite the process and we received our clearance within days of the discovery – approximately on 2/10/06.
19. This allowed for our final visa clearance to be granted approximately on March 10, 2006.
20. Our complete file allowed Sophie’s visa request to be processed in Korea on April 1, 2006.
21. On April 12, 2006, we received news that Sophie’s visa had been approved in Korea and that she would travel to the US on April 25, 2006.
22. I took a nap. :)

it's just that time of year again folks...

it's a week until thanksgiving and this year, more than others it feels like, i am feeling so grateful for so many things. this begs the question - is it cheesy to get caught up in what some call the opportunistic commercialism of the holiday season and write about the things that you are thankful for in a public forum for all to see? well...call me cheddar and sprinkle me on a taco because gosh darn it, i am thankful!

i am thankful for another year that i have been given with my partner in life, my husband, matt. man, i love him. there are so many times when i have wondered, even out loud, why are we together?! these moments, thankfully, are fleeting and each day when i settle in at night, i pray that God blesses us with a lifetime of memories together. even at our worst, we are better together than we are apart. matt understands what scares me most and he allows me the validation of that fear along with the reassurance that he will rescue me from anything and everything. and i know that even though he isn't able to save me from what's hard in my life, he will never let me walk my road alone. he knows, too, that each step he takes he has a partner in me and that our future together is bright.

my kids are the most obvious of all of my blessings and it goes without saying that i am thankful for each of them. sophie is as much a miracle as ellee and casey are. it was only a MOMENT ago that matt and i thought we would never have children - to have three now is a gift. don't get me wrong, there are days that my kids, each in there own unique way, drive the poop right out of me. they are loud, they are messy, and they are demanding. but even still - at night when i am cleaning up the mess in the silence of their sleep - i miss them being with me. being their mom is the most valuable job i will ever have and i am energized at the responsibility i have been given. i'm overwhelmed at the thought of me writing a similar blog a year from now when i can talk about our fourth baby - another daughter whose arrival in march is as exciting to us as it is to her siblings. i love to hear them talk about the impending arrival of baby #4 - they are so excited and it makes me feel good to know that THAT'S all they know - that every family member is a BLESSING and is something to be excited about. even when they haven't even been born yet. what a gift - i'm so thankful!

there are tangible things too...matt and i are so blessed in having a house to live in, cars to drive and jobs to drive them to. we have friends who love us and who we love. we have family who have proven that they will outstretch their hands when we need to be pulled back to shore and who will provide for us constant love and support. and what's more amazing, is that we have these pillars both here in minnesota AND far away from us in michigan and in illinois. in case we haven't told you recently, we are thankful for each of you.

so it's thanksgiving time, and i am so thankful!

now...how was your taco?!

is this inappropriate?

growing up, we're taught that money is a taboo topic - not to be discussed outside the bonds of blood or marriage, and sometimes not even then. i wonder now, though, why?

every person i know has seen someone - some idiot that they went to school with or played sports with or knew in some way - make it big. they have the brains of your 4 year old, but the bank account of bill gates. while that reality remains frustrating for me, it has always been something that i have brushed aside...something that i could justify away by feeling so called to be in the profession that i have been in, be it a big paycheck or small one.

but - and this is a new and humbling 'but' - this is a new season for matt and me. one where we have made changes in our life that mean we get more time with the kids, but make significantly less money than we ever had. i am working part time in a job that doesn't mean much to me as far as a 'career' goes. matt works so hard and gives so much! while he is working toward something in the future - toward greater opportunity - for now, it is a gamble and it's hard.

while i know that these job-choices we made are for the greatest good and that it is a good choice to spend more time together as a family, when it's bill-paying time, how can i NOT wonder if these are the right choices - and not the selfish ones?

for the first time in our working life, matt and i are faced with real challenge when it comes to staying 'above water'. sure, we have had to save before - whether for the adoption, or a house - but this feels very different. for the first time, money is a hard thing to come by and this makes us worry and doubt and question. why is it that when storm clouds come, so do our ulcers? as a friend of mine said to me recently - when we know we will be provided for, why is it that we worry at all?

i wish i could trust that when God makes something so clear, it means it's right - even if it's so hard.

these choices have left me dealing with some difficult realities: yes, we have debt. yes, we have stress. yes, we are making hard choices. but our reality also includes the fact that we have food and we have a home and we have 3.5 beautiful children who love us and who are being molded by our greater presence.

even more - i am comforted that we are not alone in this in any sense of the word. we have many friends that face a similar situation - that are making similarly difficult choices. why, then, i wonder, is money such a taboo topic when it is so closely related to the choices that we, as chirstians, make for ourselves and our families? why do i feel so weird writing about it?!

hmmm...work through that one with me, will you?

just know that in the end, friends, we are praying for you. these days are not easy, but i am sure the reward is great. as i pray for you - will you all continue to pray for us too?

may we all be blessed in our hard choices and the consequences that follow.