today is a hard one - you would think it's tuesday or something!! there are just some days that no matter how great work is going, i just want to stay home. no no...not just stay home for the day, but stay home. forever.
i want to wake up to the sounds of my kids calling for their mom - not to the sound of my alarm clock screaming at me. i want to give them hugs and snuggle lazily on the couch in our jammies. i want to pick out their clothes and take them outside and make snow angels. i want to watch them grow up - not just hear about it.
i feel like i am missing it. it breaks my heart.
matt bares the opposite burden. he longs to be out - working.
i am forced to just wonder - to sit and be still in the circumstances that we find ourselves in. we are waiting for something. a push, an answer, a solution. while we weather this season of discontent, i ask for your prayers.
4 comments:
my prayers are with you. i know exactly what you are talking about and it is heartbreaking.
we'll pray for you guys. i can't imagine how hard that must be! so does matt stay home with the kids right now? and where are you working? i may have missed something along the way- sorry.
i keep thinking of your comments. i honestly wish i had not read your post today, your struggles are the struggles that i push to the back of my head everyday and you brought it back to the front of my mind. thanks B.
oh shan, i'm thinking of you and praying for you. i put some time in as a working mom when trott was a baby and so i do know where you're at and it is so hard. there's no way around that. but, we can pray that this is just a season for you and hopefully a short one! who know's what God will do? either way your kids love you the same and at least you're not shipping them off to strangers at this point. love you!
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