new babies are beautiful but i'm too tired to open my eyes...

there is no sense to what is happening in my house, head, heart or page today, folks. as it turns out, having four children 5 and under has proven to be a bit challenging!

i keep having such grand intentions to post about lots of little moments with nora, but in each incidence, another one of our lovelies needs something and time for blogging is lost. deep sigh.

so tonight, nora is sleeping naked in her car seat and while i wait for her to wake up and need to eat again, i figured i would quickly update on our current state of being.

nora is a beautiful baby...she is lovely in every way. she seems to have such a sweet spirit and as one of my friends noted in my last post, she is oddly awake and alert for short spurts throughout the day. the older girls are absolutely in love with her and matt and i are pretty smitten as well. even our 'almost youngest' casey is proving to be quiet a casanova. whenever nora cries, he runs to grab her blanket and lovingly casts it upon her (he throws it at her).

don't get me wrong though, having another newborn is tough. it's harder than i remember to be so sleep deprived and to have so many demands pulling me in every direction while i am awake. it's trying and i am praying for continued perseverance in handling it all in a way that i will look back on and be proud of. my desire to be a good mom continues with (hopefully) more determination than fatigue.

one last thought about our newest...and here is where i demonstrate my insanity...even though pregnancy is intensely difficult for me, and even though babies are exhausting, and even though matt and i are abundantly aware that we have been blessed more than what we deserve in the four children that we already have...this does not stop me from mourning the loss of being pregnant. crazy, i know. but sometimes, i miss it. it's a time filled with so much anticipation and excitement...nothing compares to waiting for your child to arrive. nothing. and now that it's done and matt and i are done building our family (tubes. tied.) i am a bit sad. i do take solice each time i look any one of my lovelies in face and give them a squeeze...that always helps!

ok ok...my last tangent is postpartum related. as many of you know, i suffered a pretty bad case of postpartum anxiety when casey was born. because of that, i have been very cautious about how i tread forward after having nora. i am grateful for your prayers as i tip toe through the season of baby blues and remain aware of my mood and how i am doing as each day comes. thank you for your phone calls (even though i never answer), your prayers and your texts (i always answer texts). cautiously, i am happy to report that i am doing pretty well. although it's hard, i have the BEST support system and each day, i just keep moving forward.

fyi...justin beiber (sp?) is on david letterman (because you know i don't watch jay leno) as i type...and....ummm....i don't get it. am i missing something? or am i 15 years too old?

finally i want to offer a moment of complete thanks to my husband for being just who he is - amazing. i am not known as someone who is laid back, low key, low maintenance, or...low volume. but matt has proven (again) how much of a man of God he is by his acts of servanthood. i don't know anyone who is more gifted than matt as a spouse and as a dad. no matter what he accomplishes the rest of his life, matt has already proven to be more successful than most at what is most important.

so...there...nothing funny and nothing seriously interesting. but, it's what's real. our family is blessed and doing well. in case you wondered though, we are tired and anyone interested in babysitting is welcome to call...or better yet, text! :)

she is here and our family is complete

meet nora kate schans.
3/11/10 - 7:58pm
8lbs. 9 oz. 21 inches long
a beauty.