pictures and words on summering in minnesota.

here are two of my girlies. being girlie.

same deal, plus one boy desperate to be in the picture.

ellee wanted to take a picture. and she didn't do too bad! here's me with my two babies who aren't really babies at all.

this i found tonight when i went to check on the kiddos after i had put them to bed. charming.

and this is how i found casey. a day at the beach in 105 degree heat can really take it outta you.

not if your name is nora. honey badger don't care about no heat.

see? honey badger loves heat.

and sunglasses. she loooooves sunglasses.

casey showcasing his love of all things tigers. just like dad.

this summer we're keeping busy. i have actually been kind of stressed out about doing just that. having four little faces wondering what we're doing everyday has been challenging. i have begun having lots and lots of helpful conversations with superdad and super friends to try and gain some perspective on it all. i've decided that it's not actually my job to keep them busy. quite the opposite. we've been working on finding things to do on our own...a new and freeing idea to this weary mom. truth be told, i remember my mom shoving us all outside and telling us not to come back until lunch. why is it that my children seem to thing lunch is every five minutes? the work on this continues, but things are improving.

for sophie, keeping busy means a new judy moody book. she's loving it and so am i. she's the hardest to keep away from the tv, but she's also the one who can busy herself the longest once she's invested in an activity. she's been crafting, making forts, and missing her friends. she's been having fun and growing up everyday. second grade gets closer as the weeks fly by, and although she'll be more than ready for it, i often wonder how my heart will take these giant hits it keeps enduring as my kids inch their way through school. growing up is hard, but watching your kids grow away is harder.

ellee is smiling and laughing and enjoying more freedom than she has ever had. she's already been to one vbs, had a playdate and will just finish up her teeball season tomorrow night. she's busy and fun and getting more and more ready for her kindergarten debut. one more hit to this ol' heart.

casey has been a champ this summer too. with one vbs and two playdates under his belt, he's getting more and more comfortable doing things away from me. it's good, it really is good. he loves me almost to a fault and to see him love life without me by his side gives me a measure of comfort because the fall will bring a new school for him too. five afternoons a week away from me needs to be doable, and this summer, we're working to make that happen. of all my children, i pick him to make the 'nursing home' call, though. i'm pretty sure he'll make his wife let me live with them until my last day, so as far as i can tell, i should be set.

nora is two now and we're enjoying a summer without a baby in our midst. it's been a long time since we were able to actually get out and do things without having to think about when the baby will eat, sleep, or need to be changed. she still naps, but when the day takes us somewhere off course, she goes with the flow and shows me she's growing up too.

i'm a lucky mom. my plate is full and our family feels, for once, so complete. with nora getting older, we find ourselves looking to the future. not held up on babies, having more babies, wondering when our babies would be born, or worrying that we would have no babies at all. our family is all here and we're living life together, fully, everyday.

matt's work schedule is set to change on november 1st. he'll be working as a dispatcher, monday-friday from 9am-7pm. so this summer, we'll cherish the afternoons we have with dad. he's everything i ever dreamed i would have and the idea that a great deal of parenting will be done without him is scary and sad. but knowing that he's being readied for more opportunities is comforting. knowing who is in charge of all things, from parenting to promotions, offers much more comfort, however.

with all these changes, i'm feeling more and more settled in my role as stay-at-home-mom. not looking for something different, but focusing on being good at this most important work. i'm learning to trust that money comes when we need it, and help does too. i'm working to remember that work will be there when it's time, and for now, not to measure my worth in how i look, who i know, or what my skills are. for this former career woman, it's been a journey. and the journey continues. 

all of these things are challenging, but a good friend recently reminded me to 'not waste my years' and it struck me as almost urgent to do the opposite. tonight, i'm thankful for a summer filled with loving on my kids, dinners with my husband, and life lived to its capacity. i hope the same is true for all of you. if not, then what are you waiting for? because i'm pretty sure these are the good old days. now, get out there and don't forget the sunscreen.

having a child with a speech delay provides for countless challenging situations. but since we've been doing this now for several years, we're pretty good at laughing at ourselves.

this is casey trying to tell me what he thinks this little blue bracelet looks like. we laughed and laughed as i tried and tried to guess what he was saying. back in the day, this would have been an all out fit fest for us both. we've come a long way baby and i'm so proud of us.

can you guess what he's saying. it took a while, but i got it. ;)

three lil' videos from one very big day.

above is casey's good-bye song at his last day of preschool at beaver lake. his teachers have been nothing short of miracle workers and we will miss them so so much.

ellee's graduation ceremony follows...this was her favorite song so i thought i would post it. the last video is of her classmates making their way as a group for one last time. these kids have been together for almost 2 years...and when you're only 5, that's a long time.

casey and ellee are headed off to new schools next year, so this was it. feels like the last of their little people activities. as bittersweet as it is, we're not done yet! sophie's last day of school is coming quick and then the real fun will begin!

summer 2012, be about it.

hand, foot, mouth, and drama

hand, foot and mouth is a crazy nightmare. seriously, it's like some lunatic developed some nasty virus to torment children and parents alike. my poor babies are almost through it and if i never see or hear of it again, it'll be too soon.

 

a lot of people have asked what hand, foot, and mouth disease looks like, so i took some pictures of its last victim, sophie. below are her hands today. there are about a gazillion little itchy blisters on each hand. she has an equal amount in her mouth and on her feet too. i took her to the doctor yesterday because i noticed that her lil' finger tips were turning purple. turns out some of her blisters were getting infected so they put her on antibiotics and pushed the fluids. 

believe it or not, she's on the road to recovery. i hope.

first my kids got a horrible fever. then they got a terrible rash followed by these painful blisters on their hands, their feet and in their mouth. all are equally bad locations and make everyday life pretty miserable. it lasts about a week, or what feels like a year. 

the blisters go from hot and burning to itchy itchy itchy. from here, they'll start to scab over and heal. as awful as itchy is, it's one step closer to being over! 

whadda week. in pictures.

this week has been something else. but in between hand, foot and mouth disease, non stop rain, and matt working an insane number of hours, we had some fun mixed in too. and i even took pictures to remind myself of that very fact. you know, when the going gets tough, the mom takes pictures. 

here she is on her last day of preschool!

this is one of ellee's best friends, ava.

ellee's other best friend, ada.

this is ellee's hook and basket. it was a very big deal.

ellee's school has a little fish pond out front. every drop off and pick up, we had to say hello to the terrified gold fish. i gotta be honest, i won't miss this.

this is our garden. it started as my garden but really, it's now matt's garden. so, yeah. tons of rain this week and even some hail. our lil' garden has hung in there quite nicely. matt declared today that 6 weeks from now and we'll have tomatoes. mark your calendars, people.

our little memorial day celebration. hot dogs and potato salad on the back deck. oh, and also three of these people have hand, foot and mouth disease. that's why it's just us. can you even imagine that no one was interested in coming over and hanging out with us?!

no one can eat a steak to the bone like matty. personally, i find it to be rather disgusting. but i do appreciate that he enjoys the food i make. so, there's that. 

here's our healthy little sophie. she was our only survivor. no HFM for her.

everyday, i thank god for our backyard. here, the kids are searching for nightcrawlers. it was no big deal that this was literally right in the middle of dinner and the kids all ran to the yard and were gone for 10 minutes. matt and i didn't care because we got to eat in peace. manners be damned. 

the end of this week and i swear i feel like that bone. chewed on, cut up and almost ready for the dog. but hey, summer is knocking on my door and if there's one thing that i appreciate about the oppressive minnesota heat is that try though they may, illness cannot survive the scorching temperatures and aggressive mosquitoes here in the twin cities. so hey summer, bring it on.

on loving my boy, no matter what.

recently, i realized something about the impression i sometimes give about my little 4 year old mini-me.

when i talk about casey, i often lead with an apology. after all, he's rough and tumble. he's extraordinarily loud. he's uncontrollably emotional. and he thinks primarily with his stomach and his heart.

often this translates into numerous daytime breakdowns, uncontrollable crying, and time out after wretched timeout. there can be no denying that some days with casey are nothing short of brutal.

but the thing is, casey is also a boy who loves life. he's thoughtful. he remembers each and every kind word that's said. he thrives upon a compliment and he takes the kindness of others to heart. he believes you when you tell him that the drawing he made for you is the best you've ever seen and you should see how it makes his face shine. casey is passionate about the things that interest him and that boy loves me even more than i love myself.

true, he is my most challenging kid, but he's also delightful. and i adore him. i want to scoop him up and keep him with me forever because with me, he's safe and happy. but the day is coming soon when i won't be able to do that. he's headed to real-5-afternoon-a-week-ride-the-bus preschool next year and the thought sends me into emotional turmoil.

he'll be in a regular school where there are regular kids. kids who take his toys and make him angry. he'll have to listen to the teacher and participate just like everyone else and this is a very different picture from the one that's been painted for him thus far. and it makes me worry. the hardest part for me is that it makes him worry too.

he won't start school until late in september, but already we talk about it almost daily. i know he's going to make so many strides in his new school. i also know he'll make friends, he'll love his teacher, and the new surroundings will be nothing but good for him. but these are tricky concepts to teach a 4 year old boy who loves his routine, his life, and his mom. nervousness is a part of who he is and so my role will continue to be that of mom-rock. because he's gonna love it. he's going to be great because he is great. and i can't forget to remind him of that everyday so that when the time comes for him to board that bus, while he won't be able to see my face, he'll know that i'm right there with him. in his heart. telling him how awesome he is and that he can do it.

maybe equally important, i'm done with the apologies. my job is to be casey's biggest fan, not someone who explains his shortcomings. it strikes me that if someone's introduction of me consistently included an apology for all the things i'm not, it would be miserable. and unfair. and so i'll stop. and instead i'll fill your ears with all the wonderful things about my boy. because after all, he is wonderful.

at the end of the day, casey is who he is and no matter how many of my parental interventions i thrown at him during the day, he's still not going to be perfect. but the thing is, he's great anyway. and his imperfections feel eerily familiar, anyhow. he loves large and acts without thinking. he wants what he wants and when he doesn't get it, he crashes hard. he's so much of me, and if he loves me the way i am, then the least i can do is return the favor.

poerty i can get behind.

as a part of sophie's 1st grade writing workshops, they have each student write some poetry over the course of a couple of weeks. when she brought home her finished products yesterday, i was both amused (a blue jay really did fly into our house. it was terrifying for me but thrilling for the kids) and horrified (ummm...i pay?!). i assume you will be too. enjoy.

(i've corrected the spelling.)
i love my sister. 
i love my sister here and there, even if she eats a pear. because i don't like pears.

i pay.
i pay, she pays, we all pay. i pay bottles. oh no! i ran out of money. i need money to buy me food. i need food to live. i could die. i do not want to die. i need money to live. i need it. i need it. i love money!

a blue jay.
a blue jay flew in my house, it flew in my house without a doubt. a blue jay flew in my house.

i jump.
i jump, i jump. she jumps, we both jump. i love to jump! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! it is fun to jump.

i'm so proud of my sophie. she's so smart and sweet and hilarious. i mean, it goes without saying that i need to have a conversation about the importance (or unimportance?) of money, but hey, she loves her sister and lets her have all the pears, and really, that's the meat of it, isn't it?

so keep jumping all. turns out, it's fun.